What's up with me???

All I can say is WOW! I'm on a roll! I don't do this before even if I have all the time in the world. I kept on posting on my blog like a mad woman. I think the only way for me to stop is when I run out of topics to discuss. That would be the only time that I'd quit it... So for now, I think I'll have to say hi to all of you who would be reading this blog post and hope you don't mind me ranting about the stuff in my head.

I have a lot of plans before the year ends and I will feel bad if I don't get to do all of them. First of all, I wanna learn how to drive. But because time is what I don't have, I'm not really sure if driving lessons would really be possible in the near future. I also want to get in touch with old friends so I keep on attending reunions and friendly get together parties. Somehow, staying connected is something that makes me feel alive.

And one thing that causes my frustration is getting hooked on facebook again. That is just so bad, really. And now that there is a movie about it, I think that I need to see it. I've been using facebook since 2008, back then everybody was still addicted to friendster. I just want to be different so I deleted my friendster account. When I shifted to that social networking site, I was playing 'OWNED'. I gained a few friends there too but some of them have disappeared (literally). But facebook never lost its appeal to me. It's like a drug that everybody keeps on using every minute of everyday.

I think there's really no sense in posting this but just to prove how crazy I am, I'm going to do it... Sorry, maybe next time I could think of a more sensible topic to talk about. Let's wait and see...

Duh... Another sleepless night!

I can't remember how long I have been this way... probably 2 years? I never realized how time has flown so quickly. I once wished that there should be 48 hours a day so I can finish everything that has to be done so everybody will  be happy. With the kind of work that I have, I really need TIME and that is really a precious commodity that I will never waste.

I've had my share of sleepless nights before but today was different! It seems that I'm waiting for something but I can't really explain what it is. Is it because I am distracted by the noise from my brothers room? Maybe... I just turned off his TV. BUT... I can still feel that I will not be able to sleep until 4AM or until the sun rises (that would be too awful).

For the past week I've been thinking and praying hard about something. I was surprised that my first prayer was granted, then the next one too! It was just too good to be true. The first one was not exactly something to celebrate about because it was not totally good news but it's just a kind of realization for me that I have to focus on my priorities first before I venture into something serious again. The second prayer granted was a promise renewed. The two are quite connected and I was just happy everything is falling into place once again.

I just kept my positive mindset and I already claimed that God will hear all my prayers... Hmmm... maybe this is the reason of my sleeplessness... I wonder what tomorrow will bring?

Saying Goodbye to my Jamie Oliver

Saying goodbye is never easy... but I really have to! I know it's hard since I have gotten used to your 'kakulitan' and all that. But where exactly do you think we're going if we continue this insanity, huh? Oh well... I think I don't mean 'goodbye' in the sense that we are not going to rub elbows in the future, I think we just have to let it go (at the moment) because it's the best thing to do right now...

I'm sad and this is not the first time I felt this kind of sadness that is asphyxiating. I just want to let you know that I feel for you too, deep in my gut, I really do care for you even if you think I don't. I'm gonna miss your voice over the phone... Hmmm... It's gonna echo in my head for some time.

Well, if you think I'm crazy - maybe I really am? I've been thinking about you and how you are in the kitchen. I imagine you getting your apron and cooking away. In my mind I can smell the freshly cooked dinner that you have prepared for the two of us... but will it just happen in my head? Maybe I have to let it go now and do my thing. Maybe someday, we can really be together when everything is okay.

Rekindling my passion for food

Or should I say... cooking?

Well, to tell you frankly, I was not a fan of cooking (when I was younger). When it comes to cooking, I was definitely clueless! But that was years ago - probably a even a decade ago! Then the time came that I discovered that I can cook, I became addicted to it... I even want to shift to a different career and be a chef and have my own restaurant. I've always thought that I can do that forever. It's something that will make me feel really happy and contented.

Food is my first love - isn't it too obvious? I've been on a YO-YO diet for years now and I hate it! But what can I do when there is food? Wouldn't you take a bite if the food looks great? It would be too hard to resist! But I always think that there is still a way for me to continue with my conquest for good food without making me overweight. After all, there are still options available and all I have to do is choose what I think is best.

But I can say that food and I have had a love hate relationship for years and it's funny though, I find it really amusing. First off, my unexpected talent in cooking was almost like a miracle to me... I honestly didn't know that I can cook. I was afraid of the kitchen. I didn't even know how to fry or cook rice but it's amazing how things changed. It was like being Cinderella riding on a pumpkin!

I tried to recall the time when people are actually asking me to cook - it was an amazing experience. It gave me a good feeling inside. I can't believe it... like I wanna ask myself 'are they serious?' so I went on with my cooking spree and enjoyed the nice feeling that I am getting when they are giving me a thumbs up about the food that I serve.

I think I'm just being nostalgic again... As if I can almost smell the food that I cooked and I can still hear the praises from people who were happy with the food that they ate.. *PURE BLISS* Maybe someday I would have to reconsider a career shift. What do you think? :-)

Time Flies Quickly for Me 2X

I got my share of dumb moments again these past few days and my oh my it was like a huge whack on the butt. I remember those clueless days that I had way back in college. I was young and gullible that I easily believe on bullshit (excuse me for the word). And I just realized that I was possessed by that bad old spirit again, not literally but hey you know what right now, let me tell you that I wanna hit my head with a gigantic rock to help me think straight.
Please remind me to finish reading 'Eat, Pray, Love'. I have started on a few pages and I was amazed how I can relate with the story. My life was a total mess last year and I think I need to escape to Rome or India or Indonesia to get my sanity back intact. I am surprised to know that I'm not the only person who got crazy then retreated and once in a while also tempted to move forward or go back to square one. Crazy isn't it? It doesn't make sense at all...
Also, please remind me to re-read the book 'He's not that into you' so I will realize that he's really not that into me. That's plain and simple - no complicated analysis involved - I just have to tell myself over and over again that it's no use to keep on relying on false hopes! I might as well accept the fact that I will never meet the guy who will sweep me off my feet because I've been meeting jerks lately (UGH) and it's making me feel so frustrated.
Oh well, as they all say, when a woman is single, her only problem is herself and her love life! A lot of women might deny this but let's face it, this is true and it happens all the time. So let's get real...
*SIGH* Still I can't believe that it's been a dumb-ass week again for me for believing in bullshit...