I missed a seminar

I missed another seminar - AGAIN. I felt bad because I waited for a month for that and now I'm totally upset because I let another opportunity slip away. I could have learned a lot of things on that event, I could have made a lot of friends too... and God knows, my OTL** could have been there waiting for me! Darn it... But who knows, maybe I was not meant to be there that time. In my brain, I keep telling myself that I could have been there but my presence probably won't even count at all - it won't make a difference. But I still felt bad because I have failed to keep my promise to a lot of people. If there's one thing that I don't want to happen - that is to fail to keep my word. I've always wanted to have that word of honor, that once I've said something, I would have to carve it on wood or on stone so that other people would trust me, because that is how I am. I have high respect with people that keep their promises, but disgusted with those who always tell me stuff but in the end, they seem to forget everything that they said - I gotta tell yah, that's even worse than amnesia. That's why as much as possible when I say something, I make sure that I mean it. This is to avoid any relationship problems in the future (and when I say relationship it's between you and another living person). In doing so also protects my integrity and confidence that as a person, I'm able to meet the expectations of the people that I deal with (well, doesn't mean that we have to do that all the time - we can't please everybody).

So next time I make a commitment, I want to be 100% sure that before I say YES, I would be able to squeeze that in my schedule becuase if not, there's no point of entertaining anything at all. I don't want to be labeled as someone who just says YES because she couldn't say NO for an answer. To be honest, I really want to say YES all the time, not that it's always my automatic answer but because I don't want to disappoint other people by putting them down firsthand. But this is also not good because it can cause false hope and I hate it too. It's also something that I don't want others to do to me (Especially men, haha! But that's a different topic already). I want to be fair to them and to myself, that's why I would like to practice what I preach too.

So there you go... Now I will have to fix my schedule and attend the seminar next month. This time, it's for REAL. I don't want to eat my words again - this time, I shall attend!

**One True Love - Based on the book of Brother Bo Sanchez, How To Find Your One True Love