green cradle

On A Quarterlife Crisis

2011-08-10T19:21:00.000-07:00

Because this article from MX is really good (and I can relate) I just want to share 'For what it's worth' section (August 9, 2011)

(oh yeah, I typed it coz there's nothing available to copy and paste... ugh!)

on a quarterlife crisis ~ by Casey Rothwell

'How did I get here? It feels like everyone else has things figured out while I bump around without direction.'

The landscape of my twentysomething experience has been a rough terrain to navigate: a jagged shoreline of unmet deadlines and milestones reached but unfulfilling, mountainous heights of romantic love followed by chasms of utter heartbreak, rushing rivers of excitement and adventure interspersed with the odd sheep filled paddock of immobility, a never-ending forest of uncertainty and indecision.

If it was a country, it would look like New Zealand.

I'm 29 and single, highly educated but lacking a stable job. I'm certainly not where my 16-year-old self thought I would be. She would have panicked to see me so close to 30 and unmarried, confused as to why I hadn't yet attained a creative and well-paid executive position.

How did I get here? It feels like everyone else has things figured out while I bump around without direction.

Is this just me? To ease my mind, I turned to where the rest of my generation turns for information, socialization, solace: Facebook.

A quick questionnaire messaged to all my "friends" in their 20s returned an overwhelming and reassuring chorus of confused, ambivalent, intelligently cynical voices that were, despite everything, optimistic for the future.

The idea of a "quarter-life-crisis" was common and two themes especially repeated throughout the responses:

Firstly, no generation gas gad so many choices.

When there are an infinite number of paths laid out before you, it is hard to choose just one and so the result is to stand rooted to the spot in anxiety.

Our parents had clear and binding expectations.

We have experienced first-hand where this has led them - into unhappy marriages and rigid career paths - and they are the first to encourage us to do differently.

We're listening. But this lack of guiding influence over a life course is equal parts blessing and burden.

Secondly, we are learning more about ourselves.

Our evolving sense of self often clashes with our search for the perfect mate.

If the average age of marriage continues on its current trend, it will soon be well over 30.

Rather than a mate to simply have children and share finances with, we look for a partner who will support and encourage us personally, stand by us unwaveringly, someone who shares our lifestyle and some beliefs, all the while maintaining a positive outlook, being reasonably attractive and making us laugh.

Since we're both choosier than in the past, it's naturally taking us a little longer to settle.

We Gen-Yers are a product of our times.

A my 20s steal away with each passing day, I look forward my 30s as optimistically as the rest of my generation.

Hopefully, it will be a more even-keeled setting.

Maybe the precarious negotiated neutrality of marriage, the alpine wonders of motherhood, a linguistic and cultural blend of many friendships, yes, a scenery more reminiscent of, say, Switzerland.

Search Engine Optimization Vacation

2011-08-10T03:33:00.000-07:00

It's the first time that I took a very long vacation from SEO*... I know, I know! It's highly unlikely of me to do this because ever since I started doing it, I felt like it's something that I want to do for the rest of my life. Keeping a safe distance from SEO is not that bad but I can also say that there are a few disadvantages.

The first disadvantage is that I'm now a little bit outdated. I don't know what's going on with the current 'SEO planet'. I called it that way because I've always thought that it has a world of its own... and only a few are interested in it. It's like something that people would pay less attention to because they've got more important things to do. (and you might not even read this blog coz you don't care about SEO)

But anyway highway, just to keep up with the SEO trend, I'm planning to create a blog about it. To share what I know - all that I learned for the past two years. The pleasant memories that SEO gave me are still stuck in my head and of course, it's one thing that kept me glued on the computer for a long time and it had been my bread and butter as well so it's not that easy to let it go. So even if I haven't had the SEO fever in 6 months, it's never too late to go back to where I left off... So to those who want to know more about this, please sit back, relax and I will be posting more updates in the future.

*Search Engine Optimization - it is used for marketing and website promotion

Updates, updates and more updates

2011-03-17T21:14:00.000-07:00

WOW! I felt that I haven't written something in ages! I've been terribly busy lately... I've been busy before when I was in the Philippines but I was busier today! It was like the life I used to have when I was in Manila - I need to wake up early to go to school or work, I need to use public transportation (bus and train), I get to talk to a lot of people and worst of all, I get to talk in English all the time... ugh! I'm not really good in English especially when it comes to verbally expressing it :(

Anyway, the first few months was like a whirlwind of mixed events - both happy and sad. Happy because I am now reunited with old friends and even distant relatives, I met new friends and the best thing that we should celebrate about is that I am reunited with the Lord and now I could definitely say that I feel His presence all the time because of all the blessings that He has given me. I also thank Him for the trials because without them, I couldn't have developed the patience and resilience that I have right now.

I'm sad because of the same reason why Filipinos are feeling sad when they are far away from home... Once again, I've detached from my comfort zone, and this time I'm supporting myself (rent, food, transportation, recreation) and to tell you the truth, living in Sydney is not a joke. You have to work your ass off in order to live a decent life. To be able to do that, a person should be earning at least $300 a week. In the Philippines, an average person could settle for $200 a month and he will live (that's probably the standard rate that is given in Nueva Ecija, but I have to check again just to make sure). Everything here is expensive and you have to take good care of yourself so you won't get sick or else, a trip to the doctor might cost you thousands of $$$. There are a lot of things that I want to talk about but I think I would have to discuss that on another post.

I have to get going now, I have some websites to build/code... I have to update my portfolio... whew! See you later!

My overdue post about Pilipinas kay Ganda

2010-11-27T20:15:00.000-08:00

'The designer has to make sure that the concept is not owned by any other company or institution so they will not say that it is copied' ~Diamat Designs

As an artist I think I should make a review about the infamous Pilipinas Kay Ganda logo. To be honest, the first time we saw it, my brother and I were surprised. I really don't give nasty comments especially when it comes to design or artwork because it's how I respect my fellow artists, and also considering the fact that art is subjective - everybody has their own perspective when it comes to art and I can never say what's good and what's not. It's just probably my own way of thinking that there is no point of comparison no matter how different or similar the designs might be but when I heard the story behind the Pilipinas Kay Ganda logo, I almost changed my mind.

First of all, there are several things to be considered in designing a logo. I have discussed it before on our website and it's called: Two Important Factors in Logo Designing. If you go to that post, you will notice that on the first paragraph, I have emphasized that 'The designer has to make sure that the concept is not owned by any other company or institution so they will not say that it is copied'. As a logo designer this is also one thing that I am very concerned about. I make sure that I do not get into trouble by doing the other way.

So what happened to the Pilipinas Kay Ganda logo? I saw it on TV several times before and I just know they spent 4.8 Billion on promoting it (the money came from the pockets of the Filipino people by the way). They said it's not final yet, but why do they have to spend that much? Our mini-company which is dedicated to giving the best graphic arts in print and web sometimes make awesome designs for FREE... and sometimes when we charge, the payment is always given late (for about 3-6 months). We've had sleepless nights, skipped meals and even sacrificed our own pleasure to get things done but sometimes we never get anything in return. But this 4.8 million logo which highlights mediocrity in every detail does not deserve to be used as something that would represent our country. What a shame!

I heard someone mentioned in a TV interview that an artist is allowed to copy ideas from another existing artwork - YES, I agree with that. We do get inspiration from a lot of logos before we make one, but we see to it that it doesn't look exactly the same as the inspiration. We just get the 'look and feel' of other designs and make something different based on our own ideas. For a project as big as the 'Pilipinas Kay Ganda' promotion, we expect that this should be taken seriously and the designers of the logo should be well educated and prepared but what they did is just very disappointing. So what should be their damage control? I suggest that they hire us. Heck, we'd even offer our services for free just to create a nice looking logo for the Philippines! (pangarap mode) LOL... ok, back to work...

I kinda like it being single... :)

2010-11-23T10:05:00.000-08:00

I've been single for almost a year now and it's pure BLISS! I didn't know that I'd find my inner peace this way and as a young woman at my age - it really made me complete... Yeah, you've probably heard me before whining about my misfortunes in life. Despite of my tendencies of being a paranoid and a whiner, I can still say that I bravely found my way out through all the mishaps that happened in my life.

Because I'm happier now, I think it's safe to confess to you how my life was so messed up and what I did to make it better...

My ex and I were about to get married last March 2008. We broke up last year and right now, he is so OVER and done with. It's not that I'm bitter... In fact, there are still times that I remember him and all the fun memories that we shared when we were still together. But oh well, there's no point crying over spilled milk now. If we were talking face to face, you'd probably see me talking with my eyes occasionally moving upward rather than downward (a seminar speaker in Singapore explained once that when you talk and your eyes move downward, you are talking about a past that greatly affected your emotions). That could probably mean that I have purged all the bitterness in my chest or God finally made me realize that moping around will not help me at all.

I remember talking to a friend about a month ago and I shared to him what happened to me then he suddenly attested that nothing could be worse than what happened to him. As if he is contesting me - I have no intention of finding out who's more pitiable between the two of us. He told me that he got married because his girlfriend got pregnant and when the baby went out, his wife left him... All of a sudden, my wretched life was nothing compared to his. It made my chronicles of misfortune an old household rag. Then it got me thinking, I shouldn't be like that anymore! To completly move on in my life I must be able to run in a straight line just like what Forrest Gump did. I don't need to make nasty remarks anymore, I don't need to let people know how f*cked up my life used to be. I don't need to go back in time and remember how stupid I was before. I already learned my lesson and just like the classic saying goes: PAST is PAST. There's really nothing I can do about that dark chapter in my life so I might as well go on and make the best out of what I have right now.

So back to being single... When I was younger I thought I wanted to have someone to depend on because I am weak. In other words, I needed a knight in shining armor. It's probably because I've read too much fairy tales that time so I can't distinguish fantasy from reality anymore. The sad part is, I always end up with a jerk and a half. So in the end, I feel like a complete idiot for falling for the wrong guy over and over again. When my ex and I planned to get married, I thought I already got things figured out. My fantasy of having my own family will finally come true and I'm going to have my own kids and live a happy life with the man of my dreams - WRONG! It was an EPIC FAILURE.

I read from a friend's comment on facebook today when she heard that another friend is getting married (but she only knew the guy for 5 months) ~~ You know what, you are so brave to think about marriage when you only know the guy for a short period of time. There are still things that you need to consider like compatibility, attitude, matury and financial stability. She is so right. Marriage is a serious step and a person should be ready for it, otherwise, his/her marriage will be totally screwed up just like what happened to my friend.

I remember another friend of mine who was also complaining about what happened to her love life and how she is now 'recovering' from a bad break-up. She seems to be so happy that she has found another man (who can be a potential bf - it's pretty obvious that she likes him so much)... Uhmm, well, it's not that I'm against it but if I were in her shoes, I wouldn't condsider to dive into another relationship while I'm still in the process of healing. It's not that I'm envious that she already has another man - believe it or not, there are guys who attempted to woo me right after my first break up with my ex fiance. There are also even men in my past who tried to contact me - but I was simply not in the mood to entertain any of them. They can tell me that I'm not sweet and they could hate me for being a snob, I don't care because I'm not really excited to jump into another relationship yet. There are also guys who attempted to woo me after my second breakup with my ex fiance but same thing happened - I'm still not interested. What's wrong with me??? They seem to be nice and good looking guys... Hmm... It's probably because I already realized that I don't really need to have a man in my life just for the sake of having one. I don't really need to date when I'm not ready yet. I just have to stay put and believe that everything will happen on the right time and when I am in the right disposition.

Piece of advise to all of my friends who are still single right now, It's not really that bad to be single. Don't think that you are running out of time or you are getting too old or whatever. Just ENJOY the present and do all the stuff that will make you happy. To all that are interested to ask me out on a date or want to get to know me better (as if meron ^___^ ) Sorry, but I'm not ready yet. Hope you understand. No hard feelings ok? I have to stay focused for now. Love can wait...

What's up with me???

2010-10-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

All I can say is WOW! I'm on a roll! I don't do this before even if I have all the time in the world. I kept on posting on my blog like a mad woman. I think the only way for me to stop is when I run out of topics to discuss. That would be the only time that I'd quit it... So for now, I think I'll have to say hi to all of you who would be reading this blog post and hope you don't mind me ranting about the stuff in my head.

I have a lot of plans before the year ends and I will feel bad if I don't get to do all of them. First of all, I wanna learn how to drive. But because time is what I don't have, I'm not really sure if driving lessons would really be possible in the near future. I also want to get in touch with old friends so I keep on attending reunions and friendly get together parties. Somehow, staying connected is something that makes me feel alive.

And one thing that causes my frustration is getting hooked on facebook again. That is just so bad, really. And now that there is a movie about it, I think that I need to see it. I've been using facebook since 2008, back then everybody was still addicted to friendster. I just want to be different so I deleted my friendster account. When I shifted to that social networking site, I was playing 'OWNED'. I gained a few friends there too but some of them have disappeared (literally). But facebook never lost its appeal to me. It's like a drug that everybody keeps on using every minute of everyday.

I think there's really no sense in posting this but just to prove how crazy I am, I'm going to do it... Sorry, maybe next time I could think of a more sensible topic to talk about. Let's wait and see...

Duh... Another sleepless night!

2010-10-23T21:00:00.000-07:00

I can't remember how long I have been this way... probably 2 years? I never realized how time has flown so quickly. I once wished that there should be 48 hours a day so I can finish everything that has to be done so everybody will be happy. With the kind of work that I have, I really need TIME and that is really a precious commodity that I will never waste.

I've had my share of sleepless nights before but today was different! It seems that I'm waiting for something but I can't really explain what it is. Is it because I am distracted by the noise from my brothers room? Maybe... I just turned off his TV. BUT... I can still feel that I will not be able to sleep until 4AM or until the sun rises (that would be too awful).

For the past week I've been thinking and praying hard about something. I was surprised that my first prayer was granted, then the next one too! It was just too good to be true. The first one was not exactly something to celebrate about because it was not totally good news but it's just a kind of realization for me that I have to focus on my priorities first before I venture into something serious again. The second prayer granted was a promise renewed. The two are quite connected and I was just happy everything is falling into place once again.

I just kept my positive mindset and I already claimed that God will hear all my prayers... Hmmm... maybe this is the reason of my sleeplessness... I wonder what tomorrow will bring?

Saying Goodbye to my Jamie Oliver

2010-10-22T15:00:00.000-07:00

Saying goodbye is never easy... but I really have to! I know it's hard since I have gotten used to your 'kakulitan' and all that. But where exactly do you think we're going if we continue this insanity, huh? Oh well... I think I don't mean 'goodbye' in the sense that we are not going to rub elbows in the future, I think we just have to let it go (at the moment) because it's the best thing to do right now...

I'm sad and this is not the first time I felt this kind of sadness that is asphyxiating. I just want to let you know that I feel for you too, deep in my gut, I really do care for you even if you think I don't. I'm gonna miss your voice over the phone... Hmmm... It's gonna echo in my head for some time.

Well, if you think I'm crazy - maybe I really am? I've been thinking about you and how you are in the kitchen. I imagine you getting your apron and cooking away. In my mind I can smell the freshly cooked dinner that you have prepared for the two of us... but will it just happen in my head? Maybe I have to let it go now and do my thing. Maybe someday, we can really be together when everything is okay.

Rekindling my passion for food

2010-10-21T10:29:00.000-07:00

Or should I say... cooking?

Well, to tell you frankly, I was not a fan of cooking (when I was younger). When it comes to cooking, I was definitely clueless! But that was years ago - probably a even a decade ago! Then the time came that I discovered that I can cook, I became addicted to it... I even want to shift to a different career and be a chef and have my own restaurant. I've always thought that I can do that forever. It's something that will make me feel really happy and contented.

Food is my first love - isn't it too obvious? I've been on a YO-YO diet for years now and I hate it! But what can I do when there is food? Wouldn't you take a bite if the food looks great? It would be too hard to resist! But I always think that there is still a way for me to continue with my conquest for good food without making me overweight. After all, there are still options available and all I have to do is choose what I think is best.

But I can say that food and I have had a love hate relationship for years and it's funny though, I find it really amusing. First off, my unexpected talent in cooking was almost like a miracle to me... I honestly didn't know that I can cook. I was afraid of the kitchen. I didn't even know how to fry or cook rice but it's amazing how things changed. It was like being Cinderella riding on a pumpkin!

I tried to recall the time when people are actually asking me to cook - it was an amazing experience. It gave me a good feeling inside. I can't believe it... like I wanna ask myself 'are they serious?' so I went on with my cooking spree and enjoyed the nice feeling that I am getting when they are giving me a thumbs up about the food that I serve.

I think I'm just being nostalgic again... As if I can almost smell the food that I cooked and I can still hear the praises from people who were happy with the food that they ate.. *PURE BLISS* Maybe someday I would have to reconsider a career shift. What do you think? :-)

Time Flies Quickly for Me 2X

2010-10-13T10:19:00.000-07:00

I got my share of dumb moments again these past few days and my oh my it was like a huge whack on the butt. I remember those clueless days that I had way back in college. I was young and gullible that I easily believe on bullshit (excuse me for the word). And I just realized that I was possessed by that bad old spirit again, not literally but hey you know what right now, let me tell you that I wanna hit my head with a gigantic rock to help me think straight.
Please remind me to finish reading 'Eat, Pray, Love'. I have started on a few pages and I was amazed how I can relate with the story. My life was a total mess last year and I think I need to escape to Rome or India or Indonesia to get my sanity back intact. I am surprised to know that I'm not the only person who got crazy then retreated and once in a while also tempted to move forward or go back to square one. Crazy isn't it? It doesn't make sense at all...
Also, please remind me to re-read the book 'He's not that into you' so I will realize that he's really not that into me. That's plain and simple - no complicated analysis involved - I just have to tell myself over and over again that it's no use to keep on relying on false hopes! I might as well accept the fact that I will never meet the guy who will sweep me off my feet because I've been meeting jerks lately (UGH) and it's making me feel so frustrated.
Oh well, as they all say, when a woman is single, her only problem is herself and her love life! A lot of women might deny this but let's face it, this is true and it happens all the time. So let's get real...
*SIGH* Still I can't believe that it's been a dumb-ass week again for me for believing in bullshit...

I had a weird dream...

2010-09-22T12:28:00.000-07:00

I admit, I missed writing on my blog... and today, after having this weird dream, I got the urge of writing again to unload all the thoughts that I'm currently having about it. It's not really very unusual but since it triggered something - a childhood experience, I want to simply just let it out my chest and write it down on my blog which is something that I consider as my journal that keeps me sane these days.

So about my dream, let me start by telling you a story...

I am the type of person that keeps grudges when I was young (Don't worry I'm trying to change that now) and when I was in elementary, I was pretty active in many things especially in school, I make sure that I am part of all the activities. I recall I did things because I want to be productive all the time and I was determined to learn new things. However, the only downside is that I had become too hard on myself. At a very young age I can feel that I am living on the edge - but in the end, I realize that it was no use. Most of the time I also felt that I was unappreciated so that's the time I got depressed. There are also times that I don't feel like a kid because there was a time that I stopped playing... I can't remember exactly but it just happened. I was already 9 or 10 when I started to write a book. It was about fairy tales and mysteries. I've always wanted to become a writer and I was so determined to make that happen (but now I think I still have to work on my grammar). People think that I am a geek and not fun to be with! I think that's also true - because I am melancholic by nature, I've always thought that nobody can ever tolerate my gloomy behavior. I do not speak that much, I just prefer to sit on one corner and observe the things around me and if I get bored, I'd get a good book to read. I think my playmates got really bored with that so I was often left alone...

Okay, so how about the dream that I had a while ago and how could I connect it with my childhood?

So I didn't get enough sleep again. I passed out about 6 AM while I was working on a website and woke up when I felt my cat's paws on my stomach. My big fat white cat was trying to position himself on my tummy so he could sleep! Ugh... I think it was about 8 AM - I didn't want to get up yet so I closed my eyes again and tried to cover my eyes with my monokoroboo pillow so I could sleep. But sleep was immediately interrupted by an agent who was trying to sell a car, then followed by a phone call. It was already 10 AM so I realized that I had to get up and face my computer screen again. I had a dream that time but I can't remember. So for now, forget about my bizarre sleeping habits - to make the long story short, I became too sleepy at around 4 PM so I went to dream land again until 7 PM... and and and... this is the time that I had the most vivid dream in my life so far...

I was getting ready because some relatives invited me to the beach... and because I badly need a vacation, I decided to go with them. I learned that I'd be with my nieces and nephews so I thought I'd be having fun for sure. My parents were in my dream, they were helping me pack my stuff on different bags. And I even thought I am bringing too much of my stuff with me as if I'm not going back home anymore. But the weird thing is that I just kept on packing but I was not leaving... I just stayed on front of the gate for hours! The other part of the dream that was surprising is that my dad was holding a cigarette but I'm pretty sure that he is not smoking! So back to the vacation plan, my parents gave me a map and said I'll be needing that when I leave. I still got a lot of things on my mind -like if we are going to the beach, for sure I have to bring a towel and sun tan lotion... I was still getting ready when I realized that my vacation buddies already left me!

So there, at that very moment, I bade my vacation fantasy goodbye... all the excitement went down the drain... I thought I'd finally get the total relaxation that I was dreaming of but I was so wrong. The only question in my head is that why did they left me? Did they got tired of waiting because I had too much stuff to pack? OR because they think that I am no fun at all, they thought that they will never enjoy their beach escapade when I am around (which is possible) and because of this, I immediately recalled the bad experience I had when I was a kid... The most quiet and timid me was left out by first degree cousins because they prefer someone else to go with them. We were supposed to go to the beach and to Baguio. As a kid, I already have thoughts about the vacation in my mind's eye. Since my family rarely goes out of town, I got so excited about having to go to a place that is far from where we live in. I even had sleepless nights because of the excitement! Then finally the day came at last!!! All my stuff were already packed and I was already on my swim wear. I just had to wear shorts then later on remove it when we get to the beach... BUT BUT BUT... the unexpected happened. It was morning... hours went by, I can barely recall... one, two then we decided to call, they said they are coming... During that time, we do not have mobile phones but we have a land line phone at home... then three, four hours passed by... I was still waiting and waiting and waiting... We called again but no one was answering the call... When it was almost dark, I was FURIOUS!!! I just realized that they are never coming!!!! They decided to leave me... I was so MAD... I was fuming mad!!! What happened? Why did they decide to leave me the last minute??? I was waiting for them and they didn't even think about that!!! That was the beginning of my deep rooted hatred with those people who were supposed to be my blood relatives... It really got me thinking, maybe I was no fun at all - I am their opposite they are the type of people who were all into laughter and jokes and clearly that time, the joke was on me! I felt stupid. I thought the invitation that they did was to ridicule me and to be honest, at that time I wanted to strangle them... What they did was really really unfair.

Then I suddenly thought that there might be a good reason why this memory came back to me. It was etched on my brain for almost 20 years! Why can't I forgive? It's simply because it is still happening right now... and if they don't stop from fooling me and my family, I'd have to declare war once again... I know this part might not have anything to do with the beach and my childhood, but the bad feeling that I have deep in my gut won't go away. The dream simply reminded me of that bad feeling that have been sleeping in my subconscious for a long time.

Right now, life for me has been rough but I can still say that there have also been an avalanche of blessings every single day. Once in a while I hear news from those so-called relatives who are doing their "old ways" but I really had enough of them now, and it's safe to keep distance. I want a quiet life and I don't want them to be a part of it.

My Thoughts on Ms. Universe Pageant

2010-08-25T08:55:00.001-07:00

For me, having a title of Ms. Universe is a big responsibility. Q&A portion reflects the personality of the candidate because they get to share what's on their mind -their 'real' thoughts about a certain issue. Q&A unveils their soul. In order for them to carry out their responsibility very well, their image and character should always be considered and this is often manifested in the candidate's answer.

Even if they do not answer in very good English, for as long as the judges will see that the answer has a complete thought and is coming from the candidate's heart and she is able to connect to the audience, then that is acceptable. Venus did great! I just hope she answered in a manner that is complete, that could have proven that it might not be the best answer in the world but it would have been enough to make the judges believe that she truly has potential. But nonetheless, I am proud of her and I admire her! She also makes me proud to be Filipina :)

Every candidate wishes to be Miss Universe but I hope they are not there just to impress people with their wit and beauty but they should also have the desire to become a role model and the yearning to have an opportunity to help and inspire people around them.

Girls are like apples

2010-08-06T02:11:00.001-07:00

I got this from a friend's profile info in facebook hehehe

-----------------Girls-----------
-----------are like apples------
-------on trees. The best ones-----
-----are at the top of the tree.-----
---The boys dont want to reach---
......--for the good ones because they--
-r afraid of falling and getting hurt.-
-Instead, they get the rotten apples-
from the ground that arent as good,
but easy. So the apples up top think
something wrong w/ them when in
-reality they're amazing. They just--
---have to wait for the right boy to---
---- come along, the one who's--------
----------- brave enough to-------------
---------------climb all--------------------
---------------the way-------------------
--------------to the top------------------

When will I sleep early?

2010-06-29T11:09:00.000-07:00

This is probably the most exhausting day of my life. I'm pretty much loaded with jobs that I don't even know what to do first. I have to do all of 'em coz I have to but it would also be nice if I can have a V.A.C.A.T.I.O.N - yep, that's the word... OR it would be good if I get to spend a whole day lying in bed, reading a good book (there are lots of good books in my shelf that I can't even finish reading)... OR I would like to go to a spa to get a massage or a facial... haaay... when can I do all of that? Pretty soon - I hope...

I'm so happy!!!

2010-06-10T21:45:00.000-07:00

Yeah!!! today is my happy day! I just want the world to know that my blog is back - www.happychachi.blogspot.com (remember I mentioned that google kidnapped my blog?) OK, I have to shut up - they might deactivate this again.. oops...

I won't be updating it yet with blog posts but I think I will change the skin for now. I'm super busy, I don't even have time to go to the bathroom... (eeew)

But of course, that's not the only reason why I'm happy. It's just one of the reasons but it's on the top of my list! Ok, so this is it for now. I'll update my blogs when I have the time but I really really have to get back to work.

bye bye

Working from Home

2010-05-19T13:02:00.000-07:00

I’ve been working from home for more than a year now and I’m quite happy about it. The income is good – in fact, home based jobs are lucrative and you can actually have fun because you will get to meet a lot of people (virtually) and learn a lot of new stuff. I love the thought of not leaving home and experience the traffic, pollution and other stressful events in the outside world. I don’t have to dress up and I don’t have to spend money on food, fare and clothes/office attire. I’ve worked at a company in Manila for two years before and trust me, this is way better than the work I had. I’m not yet financially free but I finally got the opportunity to save money and finally invested into something BIG (it takes a lot more than that – I could say that I am when I earn my first million and I have “passive income”). It’s good that I was able to earn 5x more than before and I get to enjoy it TAX-FREE! Another good thing about this is that I can take my work anywhere! I could hang out at a coffee shop if I want to be in a different environment, I could go to a friend’s house, and I could be at a cruise ship or just about anywhere other than my own house! Like what I heard from a webinar before, “Just give me a laptop and cell phone and I’m in business!” This is actually true because it doesn’t require too many stuff from you. All you need is the necessary skill, determination and willingness to learn (and of course, a laptop and cell phone).

The problem that I see in working from home is that people think that you’re a BUM because they don’t understand the nature of your work. If you tell them that you’re busy because you’re working, they would even laugh at you and will not take you seriously. They think that you’re useless and you are still depending on your parents and they are feeding you and supplying you with all your needs. (Yeah, I get that all the time, people think that I sit around and watch youtube) Another thing is, when you’re working outside, other people around you understand that you’re dead tired after a day’s work but when you’re at home, aside from your daily tasks, you still have to do chores like cooking, washing the dishes, cleaning stuff… Well, I’m cool with it but sometimes, you don’t get to prioritize your work because a family member will ask you to go somewhere to do errands. And believe me this is really frustrating. You might think that you have the freedom to do whatever you like but when you’re at home -you’re actually not exempted from a lot of things and you have to do it immediately because it can’t wait. Sometimes I think it’s exhausting because I have to multiply myself into three. Good thing I’m still single and I don’t have kids to worry about. Phew!

Facebook on vacation

2010-04-28T20:32:00.000-07:00

Who ever thought Facebook can cause a lot of stress? From the spammy app invites to controversies and boyfriend (or ex) removing your relationship status and picture tags and flirting with tons of women then people asking you questions what's going on... All that you can see in your Facebook News Feed. I really had to deactivate it because I'm sooo disgusted with how things turned out to be. So there... My Facebook account died and went straight to heaven (or at least I thought so). Maybe I just had enough of the social media updates (And Yeah I had to agree -- F*ck Facebook). So how's life without Facebook? It's peaceful. I don't have to check it out because there's no need to anyway - I would end up stalking the profile of other people to find out what's going on in their private lives. Yeah, there's probably a very thin line when it comes to sharing your life to others and baring everything like it's an open book and they even have to find out how you spend time in the bathroom, how you eat and HOW YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH ON YOUR PROFILE PICTURE - you think you're COOL HUH? Lame, lame, it's so LAME. Anyway, it's been very nice to get away from facebook for a few weeks. To the people close to me who loves Facebook, don't worry - I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just freaking pissed with some people (or a person) who made a big mistake in showing some attitude - You are the one who's UNBELIEVABLE and not me...

Stalk mode

2010-04-13T08:46:00.000-07:00

Somehow, I'm guilty of stalking people in the internet. It probably has something to do with my current job - NO, it's not that I'm an NBI agent stuck on the body of a normal person but it's probably just the way I am. I've been this way for over a year now and trust me, it's not very exciting at all. I mean, my inner conscience is begging me to get a life outside the four corners of this house but I'm still stuck in the same routine and I never plan do something about it. I know, I'm blessed but I couldn't help myself from thinking that there might be more out there and I should not limit myself here at home. Maybe I need to explore the world not by stalking profiles but actually knowing more people personally and not just by merely staring at a photo of them at different social networking sites. Hmmm... so okay, I've had enough of this drama. Hey, don't get me wrong... don't think that I'm just another obsessed freak trying to take a peek of what's going on in the personal lives of other people, I'm doing that because I have a purpose (I even get paid for it). But my patience is getting weaker and weaker each day and I think that there will come a time that I'll be tired of being in "stalk mode".

Back to square one

2010-04-11T11:33:00.000-07:00

I came back from Manila today and I'm very exhausted. This is probably the toughest week I had since last year of never ending trauma and confusion. I recalled the time when I was in the bus, I felt a nagging pain in my chest - take note, it's literally painful. It lasted for a few minutes on my chest then it went down to my lower left part of my ribcage then it was suddenly gone... I wonder what it is? Hmmm... I think I need to see a doctor.

Anyway, back to where I started - my trip to Manila was an exhausting and an enlightening one at the same time. A flood of realizations struck me and it has drowned me because I was not equipped with a life vest - I know was not ready for it but I kept on squeezing it on my brain hoping that all of the information that I got will eventually wake up my senses. But there I was groping for air, trying hard to contain myself from the blow after blow of discovery - both good and bad.

It's time for me to move forward once again. Like my favorite prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

This is something I need to put in mind because I always forget the message. I need to accept that I can't be in control of a lot of things in my life. Somehow, I just need to let things flow naturally because if not, it's going to be a disaster in the end. I know it's going to be a bit hard because that means I'm going to alter my personality a bit (I just found out that I'm 3/4 melancholic and 1/4 choleric - INFJ - loyalist based on personality tests) I want to keep myself far from trouble next time, to be able to control my temper and release all of the pain and heartaches from my past failures.

I know that this is not going to be easy. I'm in this process again and I'm beginning to get sick and tired of it but I really have no choice. It's either I go through this or die. And because killing myself would lead me straight to hell then I guess it's not an option. Being on the planning stage once again brings jitters to my tummy and not to mention headaches and sleepless nights. UGH... but because I watched the movie "BIG FISH" I recalled the man chose to go through the toughest part of the forest because he knew that if he could go through it, he could surely go through anywhere without being afraid. So I guess that's just a training ground for him. Those who are not afraid to go through challenges are often the ones to emerge as winners in the end.

So now, good luck to me and I hope I can get something out of the thick and dangerous forest that I passed through. I'm still alive and I still have my mission to accomplish.

My OTL Non-negotiables

2010-03-31T13:19:00.000-07:00

I was planning to make a list of all my goals - all the things that I want to achieve before the year ends, but my mind seems to shift to something different. I recently got this idea from KFAM forum about OTL** Non-negotiables - all the qualities that you are looking for in a partner and from the description itself, it's something that is not negotiable...

Well, I never thought of that before. Blinded by those love sick, sweet as candy movies seen on theaters and shown on TV, I developed a false perception of falling in love. Even if I had faith in God, little did I know I could fall in a trap that easily and it was not good at all. I didn't realize that there were also things that I am willing to give up just to keep it going. My self-worth was even tarnished, I couldn't show my face to the world.

I keep on thinking about it - how I was deeply hurt because I was not careful...
I didn't think and seek what God has to say about it. Of course I was not expecting Him to speak to me directly but there are a lot of times that I just listen to the cries of my heart rather than God's wisdom. I made a very big mistake and this time, I want to make sure that I would never ever make the same mistake again.

Others would think that I'm too "pihikan" or "choosy" but that's the only way to go. It's God's way or the high way. I realized that picking this path would not lead me to hurts and disappointments in the end, it will lead me to eternal peace and happiness! I've already made a major detour in my destiny so why don't I make it fruitful this time?

To start off, let me share to you my list of NON-NEGOTIABLES:

1. God fearing
2. polite to people older than him
3. does not swear/say bad words as an 'expression'
4. has a word of honor
5. good conversationalist but does not talk about nonsense/bad stuff about other people
6. has a good sense of humor
7. knows how to handle his finances/ has good money management skills
8. he should be fond of kids/little children
9. responsible
10. confident

I trust in God that He will lead me to a person with those qualities, and He will give me the person that I love as well. I know it's hard to find a guy who's all that but this time, I will let God lead the way and not just rely on false signs that are too childish and foolish.

And yeah, even if I reach the age of 40 and I haven't seen a guy like that I won't mind at all. I know there are already a lot of people around me who keeps on asking me and I got to admit they are adding up to the *pressure* that I'm feeling. I've gotten that feeling before and I hope I won't end up being desperate again.

Right now, all I have to do is get away from all the nasty heartaches that I keep on having because I know that I deserve a fun and worry-free life.

**One True Love - Based on the book of Brother Bo Sanchez, How To Find Your One True Love

I missed a seminar

2010-03-30T10:56:00.000-07:00

I missed another seminar - AGAIN. I felt bad because I waited for a month for that and now I'm totally upset because I let another opportunity slip away. I could have learned a lot of things on that event, I could have made a lot of friends too... and God knows, my OTL** could have been there waiting for me! Darn it... But who knows, maybe I was not meant to be there that time. In my brain, I keep telling myself that I could have been there but my presence probably won't even count at all - it won't make a difference. But I still felt bad because I have failed to keep my promise to a lot of people. If there's one thing that I don't want to happen - that is to fail to keep my word. I've always wanted to have that word of honor, that once I've said something, I would have to carve it on wood or on stone so that other people would trust me, because that is how I am. I have high respect with people that keep their promises, but disgusted with those who always tell me stuff but in the end, they seem to forget everything that they said - I gotta tell yah, that's even worse than amnesia. That's why as much as possible when I say something, I make sure that I mean it. This is to avoid any relationship problems in the future (and when I say relationship it's between you and another living person). In doing so also protects my integrity and confidence that as a person, I'm able to meet the expectations of the people that I deal with (well, doesn't mean that we have to do that all the time - we can't please everybody).

So next time I make a commitment, I want to be 100% sure that before I say YES, I would be able to squeeze that in my schedule becuase if not, there's no point of entertaining anything at all. I don't want to be labeled as someone who just says YES because she couldn't say NO for an answer. To be honest, I really want to say YES all the time, not that it's always my automatic answer but because I don't want to disappoint other people by putting them down firsthand. But this is also not good because it can cause false hope and I hate it too. It's also something that I don't want others to do to me (Especially men, haha! But that's a different topic already). I want to be fair to them and to myself, that's why I would like to practice what I preach too.

So there you go... Now I will have to fix my schedule and attend the seminar next month. This time, it's for REAL. I don't want to eat my words again - this time, I shall attend!

**One True Love - Based on the book of Brother Bo Sanchez, How To Find Your One True Love

How to be TRULY RICH

2010-03-29T00:52:00.000-07:00

If you stick to material things, you will not be happy in the process because all of them will soon go away. Does that make sense to you? Let me give you an example...

I've been reading the blogs of Brother Bo Sanchez and I kinda got touched by all of the blog posts I read. They're pretty long, but if you read them, you will not get bored at all! First of all, it's jam packed with moral lessons and it's hilarious! You'll keep coming back for more! So instead of hitting youtube with the latest videos of wannabees, why don't you check this out and make good use of your time? One Blog post that struck me the most is the one entitled "Turning Thoughts into Things" - It's enlightening and in the end, you will be saying to yourself "Oo nga no?"

So back to becoming truly rich... It's not going to be easy like winning in the lottery or something. It requires hard work and you need to be "ready". This is important because if you have the money and you don't have the proper mindset, do you think the money will go to where it should be? I guess not. This is the very first thing that you need to put it mind. I've seen a lot of people with the money (close relatives and friends) but they don't know how to handle it. Most of them are "galit sa pera" - in other words, they don't spend it properly. Instead of investing it somewhere or giving their extra to the poor, they spend it on Havaianas... It's not that I have something against the brand but that's just an observation.

Sorry if you are offended about that. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a personal grudge with the brand because I can't afford it (I could even buy a truckload hehe - joke!) I also didn't want to jeopardize those who choose to purchase it... It's just that somehow, it already gets out of proportion that sometimes, you even borrow money just to follow your every whim and that's not good at all! So tell me, how can you become truly rich?

Being truly rich is not about how much money you have in your pocket or wallet or bank account. You could have a gazillion dollars and lose that in a second. My point here is - if you have that right now, even if you lose it, you can retrieve it right away or earn it quickly if you have a millionaire mindset. It doesn't mean that you need to steal from banks or be a Drug lord or a corrupt government official just to get those millions easily - it only means that if you know the right thing to do, it would be totally easy for you.

My friend, I hope that you're in the right path. Always remember that the purpose of wealth is to help others in need (take note, those who are in need of help and not tolerate their caprices) If you think you're ready, then that is a good start! Begin right and you will end right then pass everything that you have learned to others. That would be the best thing that you can do.

The next best thing to do is to be a part of the Truly Rich Club and be blessed with inspirational stuff such as God Whispers, free mp3s of the Bo Sanchez talks, free ebooks/books (Bro. Bo Sanchez recently sent a book - Turning Thoughts into Things, with his autograph!), You will also get information about the next seminar dates of the Truly Rich Club, Jomar Hilario's How to earn money in the internet, You can even earn money through their Affiliate program! But I think the best thing about this Club is that you get to share your money to different charity works through your monthly membership fee - all of that for a very good cause!

So if you're ready to subscribe, here is the link to the Truly Rich Club website - may you be forever blessed!

===TrulyRichClub.com - Do You Want to Gain Financial Wealth and Spiritual Abundance at the Same Time? ==

AND, you may also want to get God Whispers everyday:

=== GodWhispersClub.com - Get A Megadose of Blessing. And Take Your Life To A New Direction. ===

You might also want to check out Brother Bo's ebooks for sale:

We are all truly blessed!

2010-03-28T10:28:00.000-07:00

Whenever I'm in an emotional state and I want to uplift my spirit, I tend to do things that are not really helpful in solving my problems - but that was before. Now, I'm trying my best to reconcile with God and surrender all of my sorrows and past hurts to Him. I realized that I can't really do anything about what happened yesterday, but there are plenty of ways to improve myself to have a better tomorrow. I'm still in the process of learning and in my journey in life, I still encounter cracks and bumps along the road but they don't serve as hindrances for me to step backwards and stop what I'm doing.
I just want to share that I've found a nice website where you can meet a lot of great people and great teachings. And because it's Holy Week, it would be nice if you check it out and read the message of God. If you have a problem and you want to talk to someone, there is online counseling, there is also a forum where you can make new friends with other KFAM members, you can find there the blog of Brother Bo Sanchez and a lot more. God is using this as an instrument for us to know that He's actually here with us - with the presence of family and friends that shower you with love and support. We are all truly Blessed!

Go to: http://www.kerygmafamily.com/ and be a part of the kerygma family

Google kidnapped my blog

2010-03-28T09:47:00.000-07:00

This morning I was excited to post on my blog but when I was trying to sign in at blogger, an error message appeared, telling me that my blog is not found! I almost fell from my seat! Google seems to be playing jokes on me, I thought. Then I checked my mail but surprised again that it was suspended! That was it... I fought the urge to scream... This couldn't be happening, I said to myself. There's got to be a way for me to get it back. So there I was staring on my computer screen, dumbfounded, without a clue of what I should do next. Yes, this was my worst nightmare. The blog and the email that I have been keeping for the past 2 years are both gone in a flash. First thing I did -
I read the love letter that google gave me and there was a message telling me to click that link if I want to save my inbox. GOOD! So I went to that page and read the instructions carefully without blinking. Then after a few minutes of reading - I heaved a sigh or relief. Google told me to enter my phone number and I will receive a text message with the verification code that will activate my Google email. Right then and there, like fairy google godmother waved her magic wand, I finally got in Gmail...Yeay! Well, this was supposed to be a good thing but all of a sudden, I'm scared... What if this happens again? Ugh... I really need to look for a nice, affordable and user friendly domain registrar and server where I can put all my files without worrying too much that one day, Google might kidnap it again (or accuse me of spamming - ouch!)

Anyway, I hope you will still visit this blog while it's still up... :D